ICHIJOU TAKUMA: Owner's Guide and Manual
by diciassete
Summary: CONGRATULATIONS! You have just purchased your very own ICHIJOU TAKUMA unit! This manual will ensure your survival and maximum utilization of your unit.


**ICHIJOU TAKUMA: User Guide and Maintenance Manual**

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**CONGRATULATIONS! **You have just purchased your very own ICHIJOU TAKUMA unit! This manual will ensure your survival and maximum utilization of your unit, but mostly your maximum utilization of your unit, because ICHIJOU TAKUMA is a very sweet and docile, caring and doting, gentle and loving unit, unlike the emotionally disturbed KURAN KANAME unit that you may or may not regret buying by now.

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**Technical Specifications: **

Name: Ichijou Takuma. Will respond to "Ichijou", "Ichijou-san", "Ichijou-kun", rather happily to "Takuma", and neutrally to "Takuma-kun", "Takuma-san", and "Ichijou-senpai."

Age: 18

Place of Manufacture: Elder Council, Inc.

Height: 184cm

Weight: 70kg

Length: Have you _seen_ his katana?

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**Your ICHIJOU TAKUMA unit comes with the following: **

One (1) Night Class uniform suit and pants

One (1) silk pajamas

One (1) katana and scabbard

One (1) blue sweater

One (1) red tie

One (1) set of manga (chosen at random)

Sixty (60) tin containers of blood tablets

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**Programming**

Your ICHIJOU TAKUMA unit comes with the following traits:

Swordsman: Need protection? ICHIJOU TAKUMA is like the ultimate bodyguard. He can easily dispatch Level E's that are after your sweet blood, kill his grandfather, and do sword tricks that you could possibly make money off of—if it is your intention to turn him into a circus sideshow. He is very, _very_ dangerous with his katana. In public, and in bed, by the way.

Tea Ceremony Master: Do you like tea? Well, ICHIJOU TAKUMA makes tea like a boss™. Personally, he prefers his with rose jam. He won't mind sharing his tea cup with you either.

Spy: He can lie like a rug when he needs to. No one can ever tell what he's thinking, since he constantly seems so upbeat and cheerful, but secretly, just secretly, he might be hiding some dark, horrible mysteries. And espionage is one of his good suits; have you _seen_ him spy on KURENAI MARIA units? Just like performing tea ceremony, he's like a boss™.

Student/Tutor: He's a student, under all of those handsome traits. A bit hard to believe, but he's just like most of you reading this manual! He has studies, he does homework, _and_ he likes reading mysteries, manga, and dictionaries. See, he's not all about looks—he's got the smarts too! If you ever need help writing a lengthy dissertation on why ICHIJOU TAKUMA should rule the world, he'd be happy to supply you with synonymous words so it doesn't sound monotonous.

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**Removal of your ICHIJOU TAKUMA unit from Packaging**

ICHIJOU TAKUMA is very easy to 'wake up,' so to speak. He likes his sleep, but if you wake him up, he won't mind too much. But if you want your first impression to start on a really good note, we would suggest trying the first approach in our failsafe methods of removing him from the giant, body-sized crate that he's been delivered in. If he's already awake, good news, you don't need to wake him up, but you might have to reassure him first that he's in a safe place—to which he'll laugh nervously, unconvinced—as you slowly dismantle the giant crate. Please be very careful when dismantling the crate.

1. Make tea and add rose jam. Then knock on his crate and ask if he'd like to play rakugo with you. Since his senses are significantly sharper than a human's, he will be able to hear you—and wake as soon as the knocking begins. Hell, just as your knuckles touch the wood. Delightedly, he will respond, "I'd love to!", with much excitement, and dismantle the box himself easily. As you give him the tea, he will be sufficiently distracted by the smell of rose jam, so please hasten to reprogram him from the back of his neck, as you probably have no idea what the fuck rakugo is and with the default mode he's in, he'll probably really want to play—and, well, you don't want a disappointed ICHIJOU TAKUMA unit because his sad face will leave you feeling ashamed of yourself.

2. Have a nearby KURAN KANAME unit or any of the Night Class units wake him up. At the sound of KURAN KANAME's voice, ICHIJOU TAKUMA will automatically get up, tell KURAN KANAME that he will be out soon, and proceed to dismantle the box rather briskly. When he steps out, immediately stop him and reprogram him, unless you want ICHIJOU TAKUMA chasing after KURAN KANAME. At the sound of any of the Night Class units' voices, ICHIJOU TAKUMA will kindly tell them that he will momentarily escape from this box. Help him and reprogram him as he dusts off his clothing.

3. Play a recording of SHIRABUKI SARA's voice—or have the unit actually stand next to ICHIJOU TAKUMA's box and say in a sing-song voice, "Wake up!" Your unit will be very, _very_ frightened and refuse to come out of the box. After SHIRABUKI SARA leaves the vicinity, you may open the crate carefully and attempt to comfort him. It would be wise to reprogram him at this point, as he will already be in _Frightened _mode and will most likely shun all contact and rock himself in a small corner with little dark clouds surrounding him. Of course, if you succeed in reassuring him that the scary Pureblood-lady won't be coming back, he might hug you. But that's a rather slim chance.

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**Reprogramming**

After successfully getting your ICHIJOU TAKUMA out of his crate—as you should, because those ways are failsafe—you can reprogram him to these several modes.

_Caring (default)_

_Enthusiastic (default)_

_Frightened_

_Compassionate_

_Faithful/Devoted (locked)_

_Unstable (locked)_

Your ICHIJOU TAKUMA unit naturally comes in the two default modes _Caring _and _Enthusiastic_. He's like this towards everyone, and tends to seem like this especially towards the Day Class. Your unit is also charming and handsome; so many people find themselves attracted to him. But worry not—there's no need to be jealous. As long as he knows that _you're_ his owner, he'll put you first before all of his priorities. Note that this is not the same mindset as in _Faithful/Devoted_, which is an almost obsessively loving mode.

_Frightened_ is a mode that most sadists who purchase this unit like to reprogram him to. ICHIJOU TAKUMA is _extremely_ adorable when he is frightened, and it is achieved unconsciously and involuntarily when employing the third method to waking him up. He will sit in the corner all day and be exceedingly wary and suspicious of everything you do, unless you convince him otherwise that you mean no harm and have his best interests in mind. Of course, _then_ he unconsciously switches to _Faithful/Devoted, _which is yet another locked mode as well as _Unstable. _From there, you become the constant in his wavering, variable life. A lot of hugging is needed to reassure him, by the way.

The_ Compassionate_ mode can be easily activated by telling ICHIJOU TAKUMA of your troubles. From the deepest angst to the shallowest worry, he'll listen and pat your shoulder—make you some tea as well—and read manga with you if you're still feeling down.

The _Faithful/Devoted_ mode is a very fun one to unlock, but you may or may not wonder if this is for the best. Your ICHIJOU TAKUMA unit will become obsessed with your personal health, studies, insist that you eat better, and _start cooking_. And his culinary skills are just as great as his tea, by the way. In his eyes, he'll always think you need to eat more, and if you are depressed, he'll make it his life's ambition to cheer you up. Don't speak to him about any males, even family members such as brothers, fathers, uncles, _grandfathers_, etc. (especially grandfathers), and the aforementioned person won't end up dead and on the evening news as a recent murder. He does get jealous, though he doesn't show it to you face-to-face and instead 'pampers' you more. In fact, you might become rather spoiled because of his attention, but he'll maintain that it's for your good and that you _need_ to be indulged more. (Note: if you have a life-threatening illness that cuts your life in halves or quarters, he will start reverting into _Unstable_ because you will be dying sooner than later and therefore shortening the time that you two have together. He will get very, very upset and refuse to speak to anyone but you.) You can always reprogram him to another mode, but he will still retain traces of _Faithful/Devoted._

The locked mode, _Unstable_, can be unlocked by worrying your ICHIJOU TAKUMA unit to the point of sickness. If he has grown attached to you very much but your character flaws (going out late drinking, partying until midnight, getting down on your Calculus classmate, etc.,) prove to be too much for him to handle, his mental health will start rapidly deteriorating. Of course, this will also happen if a SHIKI SENRI unit gets into the locked mode of _Possessed_, or if an ICHIJOU ASATO unit appears and does unspeakable things that cause your ICHIJOU TAKUMA unit to be silent for weeks. By then, he will also join in on being self-destructive and start to develop split personalities. Cases have been reported that he shows signs of _Faithful/Devoted_, but further advanced to the point of mania. If you wish for the safety of your unit, reprogram him quickly before the mode embeds itself into his circuit systems.

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**Relationships with Other Units: **

KURAN KANAME: Your unit is very comfortable with KURAN KANAME and is one of the only people in the entire world now, probably, allowed to call him by his first name, no honorifics included. They are pretty close, and KURAN KANAME feels more at ease with ICHIJOU TAKUMA, who understands his burdens of being a Pureblood and having the pressure of the Vampire Council on him. As for relationships, if KURAN KANAME is in _Caring/Gentle, Suicidal/Depressed, _or _Obsessive_, and ICHIJOU TAKUMA is in _Compassionate—_note, not _Faithful/Devoted_, since in that mode, ICHIJOU TAKUMA's main focus is **you**—it could work out. Please note that KURAN KANAME will become tremendously attached to ICHIJOU TAKUMA and your time with ICHIJOU TAKUMA may be tremendously cut short during the duration of each day. Apologies if this happens.

SHIKI SENRI: ICHIJOU TAKUMA is practically an older brother to SHIKI SENRI, and one of the few people who care deeply about his well-being. You'd bet your knickers that ICHIJOU TAKUMA would protect SHIKI SENRI any day. He'd even go against KURAN KANAME to do it. In turn, SHIKI SENRI is very caring towards ICHIJOU TAKUMA as well, but not as open about his feelings as most people would think. He seems bored all the time, but we all know there's that feeling of kindred protectiveness. A relationship is possible in every single mode with SHIKI SENRI and ICHIJOU TAKUMA, except in _Faithful/Devoted_ for the latter.

TOUYA RIMA: She is part of the circle that ICHIJOU TAKUMA and SHIKI SENRI are in. The three actually care quite deeply about each other, though TOUYA RIMA is seen more often with SHIKI SENRI with ICHIJOU TAKUMA. Either way, ICHIJOU TAKUMA and TOUYA RIMA both care very much for SHIKI SENRI, and in that respect, they get along with each other quite well also. Chances of a relationship aren't too slim, but TOUYA RIMA will mainly be the first love of SHIKI SENRI. Modes to do this are, for TOUYA RIMA, _Timid_, and for ICHIJOU TAKUMA, _Compassionate, Caring, _and _Enthusiastic._

ICHIJOU ASATO: Though he respects his grandfather in many ways, ICHIJOU TAKUMA ends up murdering his own dad's dad. There's no way to skirt around the truth. Too much respect is lost. Please don't even _try_ to put them together in a relationship. Please. Incest only works for KURAN KANAME and KURAN/CROSS YUUKI, and other obscure pairings, but no way in hell ICHIJOU ASATO and ICHIJOU TAKUMA.

THE REST OF THE NIGHT CLASS: ICHIJOU TAKUMA is seen as a very bubbly individual, and rather un-vampire like, but even then, he's still very respected among the Night Class.

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**Cleaning**

Your ICHIJOU TAKUMA unit is very friendly, especially in the baths. He seems a bit childish, and that's pretty much true because he secretly likes bubble baths too. He wouldn't say no to you joining him in the bath tub, but note: he is programmed, and it is ingrained deeply into his circuit systems, to not be seductive or have thoughts of ulterior motives. He is a very innocent unit in the bathroom and would never think of taking advantage of you. _You_, on the other hand…

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**Feeding**

ICHIJOU TAKUMA has never tried blood in his life, truthfully. He's never wanted to do it either, but if you get him hooked on your blood, it causes him to lapse into _Faithful/Devoted_. He will require your blood once every three months but will also ingest blood tablets as necessary. Notably, you can tell if an ICHIJOU TAKUMA unit has ingested blood, as his emerald green eyes will have a faintly red tinge on the rim of his irises. Please don't make him take too much blood—he will possibly become overwhelmed with bloodlust, and though he won't sink to any levels in the hierarchy of vampires, he's going to become fairly seductive and eventually degenerate into _Unstable_.

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**Rest**

Your unit is a person who likes sleep and will crave it if someone wakes him up before 7:00PM every afternoon for at least five days. If the pattern continues, he will eventually stop complying with your request to have him rise from the bed and in fact pull you onto the bed with him, effectively shutting you up. Otherwise, he normally wakes up at 8:25PM each day, so rest assured that you'll have the bed during the night while he sleeps in it during the day, as long as you wake up before 8:25AM. If you fail to wake up before 8:25AM, he, regardless of the consequences, will simply plop gracefully onto the bed next to you.

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**Frequently Asked Questions**

Q: My ICHIJOU TAKUMA keeps requesting to see KURAN KANAME, and otherwise, he gets pretty distracted and scatterbrained! What do I do?

A: There's only one way this could have occurred. You've starved him of Kaname's presence. Take him to see Kaname please. If you're worried that his attention will be diverted, then think about what'll happen if he doesn't see Kaname for several years. He needs to see a KURAN KANAME unit at least once a month to function normally.

Q: My unit ran out of blood tablets, and every time I step out of the shower, he smiles at me seductively, his eyes turn red, and he behests to taste my blood! What is this shit?

A: Er-hurr-hurr, congratulations…? You have unlocked a new mode in ICHIJOU TAKUMA! _Bloodthirstily Seductive_ was pretty unintentional, but the creators decided to screw around and accidently added this to the…um…system. We're very sorry that you are now being plagued with bids for your blood. If you'd like, you could return the ICHIJOU TAKUMA for free and we'll trade it in for a willing candidate with a normal ICHIJOU TAKUMA unit.

Q: He kissed me today and then ran away, blushing! I haven't seen him for hours now.

A: This happens quite often in _Faithful/Devoted._ ICHIJOU TAKUMA is very afraid to rush you in terms of your relationship, and his perspective of it, since he is over-analyzing everything, trying to put everything in the perspective of a human. To be honest, at this stage, if you'd just gotten him several weeks ago and easily put him into _Faithful/Devoted_, he would have married you if he completely disregarded human lifespan. If you want him to come back, just stand at an open window for several hours and look forlornly out of it, mouthing/whispering his name. He'll definitely come back. If he doesn't, you can assume that he has been kidnapped by someone else and may be eligible to purchase a new unit.

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**Troubleshooting**

Problem: After my unit didn't respond to any of the ways you provided to wake him, I opened the box and found, instead of a youthful, tall vampire, a young child in pajames who opened his eyes and looked at me, frightened, holding his stuffed animal to himself quietly as he trembled under my gaze. What the hell?

Solution: Whoops! We've sent you a Child!Takuma accidently! He's very, very adorable, but he is sometimes easily frightened by strangers that are much, much taller than him and aren't vampires. When he gets used to it, he often hugs your leg. But if you don't want to keep such an adorable little unit, you can always send him back to us, and we'll give you an adult-sized ICHIJOU TAKUMA without any charge.

Problem: ICHIJOU TAKUMA keeps hiding under the bed covers and refuses to come out, and I'm too embarrassed to slip into bed next to him. I am losing sleep over this, and the only answer I get out of him when I ask why the hell he's still in bed is 'Shirabuki Sara.' What's going on?

Solution: He has most likely been traumatized by a SHIRABUKI SARA unit. Sincere apologies. Just put him with KURAN KANAME for an hour in a dark room, and he'll recover eventually. Make sure during recovery that you focus all of your attention on him and let him have the bed for no matter how long he wants. After he snaps out of it, he'll apologize profusely and force you to go to sleep and do all of your homework for you while you catch up on rest.

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**End Notes**

ICHIJOU TAKUMA is one of the very popular units of the Night Class, almost as popular as KURAN KANAME and KIRYU ZERO. With time and care, you'll probably only serve to make him more depressed, especially if he is in _Faithful/Devoted_ mode, because you're still going to die before him—but enjoy your time with him anyway. Sincere regards from Elder Council, Inc. and VanpaiaNaito Co.

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**I am very sorry for my near month-long absence. I was on leave for an unexpected camp and threw all clothes into my suitcase and suited up for summer.**

By the way, feel free to write any stories about the units, as long as you link the original manual references back to me. :)


End file.
